I feel the urge to blog, but since there is no one brilliant thing I have to say, I thought I'd just write down several. Enjoy.

1. I've always wanted to learn how to tango. You know, cling to your partner as he drags you across the room, then throw your leg up on his shoulder at the end. The only thing that concerns me about that is that if there's a crack in the sidewalk, I'm going to trip over it.

2. I just watched a little tidbit from "Nanny 911". All I have to say is, praise God I don't have 6 children. Actually, I don't have any. But I want some one day. Well, not all at once. One every couple of years or so would be ok with me. Ew... 6 kids at once. What a horrible joke. But, at least you'd get a lot of money. Then you could hire a nanny and take a cruise. Hey...

3. I do have a cat though. But she acts more like a dog than a child (she plays catch). But she whines a lot. Kind of clingy. She's a picky eater, too. And she hogs the bed...

4. Anybody want a free cat?

5. When you make baked beans, do yourself a favor: never add grape jelly. Although for the record... I know that there is something you're supposed to add that to to make it sweet. Just have to figure out what it is. 

6. Have you ever noticed who owns the Krab Shack on "Spongebob"? A crab.   Do you know what he sells? CRAB PATTIES!! A crab cooking crab and selling it to his fellow seacreatures. It's teaching our kids to be cannibals! Just think... 20, 30 years from now when our kids are ruling the world... you see a bbq diner off the road... is that really beef you're tasting?? I'm scarred.

7. Thank God for the sausage, egg and cheese biscuit from McD's.

8. When running a dishwasher, it's never a good idea to mix powered detergent with liquid.

9. Why is it that whenever you're in a serious moment or you need to be professional, you ALWAYS either have the sudden urge to fart or think of the most hilarious thing that has ever happened to you in your life?

10. My roommate took me out to breakfast for my birthday this past Sunday. There was a little kid in a bunny costume walking around the restaurant, freaked my poor friend out the whole time. I finally looked at her and said, "It's just a kid. Kids are people, too." Without missing a beat, she looked up at me and said, "Oh, you mean like how midgets are people, too?"  Point taken.

11. How is it that Howard Stern can get on his show EVERY DAY and say something that offends every group/race/society, but Imus says one thing and not only has to publicly apologize, schedule a meeting to apologize again to the offended party, take a two week disciplinary leave AND possibly lose his show? Not excusing what he said, but come on...

12. It's official! Larry Burkette is the father of Anna Nicole Smiths' baby. Yay. Now I can sleep.

13. I'm glad I didn't grow up in England. Do you know what they eat over there? I'd be a very sad Brit. Yes I would.

14. I've discovered something about myself this morning. I'd rather walk a wrinkled shirt all the way across my apartment, throw it in the dryer, walk to the other bathroom, wet a washcloth and add that, and wait ten minutes for it to dry than simply fold the basket of clothes it was sitting in.

15. You know the song, "If Loving You is Wrong (I Don't Wanna Be Right)"?  Luther Ingram sings it, it's from the 70s. I've always liked it. Well, I've always liked the chorus anyway. So I downloaded it, burned it onto a cd and today listened to the whole thing for the first time. Have you ever listened to the lyrics? It's a horrible song! He's married! Kids! Wife! And he ain't singin' to her... I was so disappointed. Now it's ruined for me.

16. Thank God I'm not a midget.

17. I saw Jeff Goldblum in an interview the other night. Is it possible he's gay?

18. I've found that I have some of the greatest friends in the world.

19. I've also learned that if someone you don't know asks you for your phone number... DON'T DO IT!

20. Last night, I checked my alarm 5-6 times like I always do (my alarm clock always puts me in OCD mode). Set it for 8:59. I wake up 3, 4 times during the night. So, when it's finally time to wake up, I look at the clock and... it's 9:30. What?!? Double check the alarm... and it's set for 8:59 alright. 8:59 PM. Sometimes it hurts my brain to be so brilliant.

Great... "If Loving You is Wrong....." is stuck in my head. Fantabulous....